I happened to see a lot of movies lately, so thought I would give some reviews. Some are old, some are new, I might ruin some of them so please read at your own caution. I won't give away endings, but if you are like me, you like to go into movies knowing as little as possible. I put the writer followed by the director in parentheses.
Oh, I should also let you know my rating scale. I like hockey and I like the number 8. Ergo, I rate on hockey pucks out of 8. 8 being ultimate shootaround, 0 being I can't play hockey, which would make me sad. Also, half hockey pucks don't exist.
In no particular oder:
Juno - 7 hockey pucks. (Diablo Cody, Jason Reitman)
I agree with the other millions of people who saw this movie and liked it. Here are my new thoughts on the film. Jennifer Garner is severely underrated . She took what could easily have been a throwaway role and brought a ton of life to it. Really just an outstanding job. Some people have criticized the dialogue saying it is unrealistic. I say those people are not listening. Juno is the only character in it who talks in an abnormal way, but that is just part of her charm. Every other character talks like people I know. Besides, its nowhere near as bad as Kevin Smith dialogue. I should note I hate Kevin Smith dialogue because everyone talks the same way. My contention for Juno is if you wiped out character names and handed someone the script, they would be able to follow the entire thing. The one part I did think the dialogue was a little peculiar was the beginning. Her exchange with the convenience store clerk seemed a little forced and awkward. Also, the undertones of Mark Loring (Jason Bateman) with Juno made me uncomfortable. They could have toned that down and gotten the effect they wanted. Ellen Page is adorable and great in it.
Cloverfield - 7 hockey pucks (Drew Goddard, Matt Reeves)
I hate monster movies. I hate horror movies other than the Saw series. I love Cloverfield. It is one of the smartestly done movies I have seen in a while. So smart it cancels out the word I just made up. The narrative was exquisite. Very creatively done. I can only imagine how much of a pain in the ass it was to direct. Big huge ups to Goddard and Reeves or their final creation. They should be proud. I am not going to say any more because it would probably give too much away. I read some online reviews. Some people don't like it. Those people are idiots.
Kill Bill Vol 1&2 - 6 hockey pucks (Quentin Tarantino)
Only took me 4 years to finally see these. I thought they were awesome. Visually fantastic. It really is impressive to see how good Tarantino can jump styles during a film with it being seamless. I doubt I am a deal breaker, but thought I would acknowledge I liked these movies. I would recommend watching them back to back. That is how I watched them for the first time and it made it much better... I assume...
Coffee & Cigarettes - 5 hockey pucks (Jim Jarmusch)
Cool format. Interesting little short films. Simply put, some were better than others. All were entertaining, none of them were groundbreaking. You have to be in a mood to watch this. A lot of them are slow moving and some of the people in them are not the most eloquent of speakers.
The Triplettes of Belleville (Sylvain Chomet) - 4 Hockey Pucks
I have a very good reason to hate France. Now I have two. POW! Kidding. This reminded me of something I said that The Matt Sanchez formerly known as My Roommate reminded me I said. That was complicated. I basically said, in reference to sketch writing, that if you are a page in and you still don't know what the hell is going on, it probably needs to be rewritten. When you are 40 minutes into an 80 minute movie, the same rule applies. This is an animated short that got out of control. I respect the style of the film, it was unique. I appreciate that, but it could have easily been significantly shorter. The music in it was pretty cool as well. Also, a personal ouch to Sylvain Chomet's portrayal of Americans. All morbidly obese. Again, ouch. I mean, I'm fat, but not all of us are. I am now going to great lengths to make fun of the French. Croissant loving... things...
The Simpsons Movie (Too many writers to credit, David Silverman directed) - 4 Hockey Pucks
Full disclosure, I feel asleep before the end. But unless the end was an episode from 1990-1999 then I doubt there was anything that could have altered how I felt about it. Simpsons in its heyday is hands down better than any show currently on TV. Quite likely the greatest show of all time. For best comedy of the last 25 years people would point to South Park and Cheers (which I think both give the Simpsons a debate but ultimately Simpsons wins) or Seinfeld and Friends (which I say don't even come remotely close). For some reason at the turn of the millenium Homer went from being stupid to being angry. Somehow this made the show less intelligent. I submit that stupid humor takes a lot of intelligence to do correctly. This is a longer blog for another time, but that is briefly why I was disappointed. It pains me to give it only 4 pucks. You have no idea how much. I will probably rewatch it and hopefully will change my opinion.
Knocked Up (Judd Apatow) - 5 Hockey Pucks
There was a severe believability issue here for me. I just don't believe she would go out with that deadbeat. And I guess the part I have a hard time with is their second date. It was like any other date. This was the second time they hung out. I just never saw a point when she would have any reason to give him a chance or put up with his BS. Paul Rudd was awesome. He makes me laugh a lot. Funny parts but again, I don't buy it.
Chelsea Walls (Nicole Burdette, Ethan Hawke) - 2 Hockey Pucks
Slow. Boring. Confusing. Still not sure what the plot is. I have wanted to see this for 7 years because I like Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard, and Steve Zahn. I guess I brought this upon myself.
Blades of Glory (4 dudes wrote it, 2 directed it. Simplify.) 6 Pucks
Funny lines. Funny premise. Jennifer Fischer is very pretty. Really didn't break new ground, just a simple funny comedy.
Check it out. I might do a similar revamp to the site. I'm already ready for a new design. K, I am sleepy. Laterz. Thanks to everyone for checking out our November and Sketchfest shows. More on that later too.
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Happy 'Ween!
Halloween is great! My favorite holiday, hands down. Yes, I am including Christmas. Seriously, I am. Yes you still have to buy me something for Christmas, family. You cheap bastards.
So what did this Halloween bring other the usual calvacade of boner-inducing costumes? This, my friends:
That, comrades, is a pumpkin eating a kitty. I carved it at work. It was really fun.
That is my costume and me making an inappropriate gesture next to a giant TV. For the record, I don't remember a lot of the night. Actually, most of the night. I didn't even realize there was a camera at this place until I saw these pictures posted to facebook.
Let's play Guess John's Costume! Is John?:
A) A Hipster
B) A Hipster Pimp
C) A guy John knows from work
D) What he would prefer to dress like
E) Too cheap to spend more than $6 on a costume so he bought a neckerchief and a belt and put it together with other clothes he owns
The correct answer is Vampire. It was a trick question.
If you want to know what a hipster is (John went as a hipster... I am not sure why I used the third person there), then click in this space between the parentheses to see a video by the gang at POYKPAC (between the parentheses). It is a really funny video and captures hipsters well. Also watch the unused mustache growing competition.
I'm frightened how much I enjoyed being a hipster. It was great. Many people claim I am already a hipster and just refuse to admit it. I say they are lying jerks. Every one of them.
Although I do love Neutral Milk Hotel.
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Roy Hobbs: Kind of a Jerk
Recently I watched the Natural for the first time since my age required two numbers and it lead to a couple of realizations
A) I never understood movies when I was a kid. Honestly, the simplest plots would go right over my head. The Natural was one of them. I never realized how dumb I must have been as a kid not to understand one of the simpler plots of all time.
B) Roy Hobbs is kind of a jerk. He's really cocky and when he talks to the Judge the first time, he's really rude. I'll be honest, as a hero, he had some not so redeeming qualities. Courtesy of Wikipedia I learned the book version basically had him as a scuzzbucket. You should read the entry, it sounds like a more interesting book than movie. Watching the movie again, there is some really dicey stuff in it. Plus a super cheesy ending.
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Re: MANNY HAPPY RETURNS!
On the day the Red Sox opened the ALCS against the Indians, The PandaKitty (thepandakitty.blogspot.com) started things off right sending me a picture of our mutual man crush, Manny Ramirez. Manny, or Man-Ram if you want to be gross about things, is a beautiful man with a beautiful swing who has a penchant being in his own world. And a wonderful world it must be.
Anyway, the PandaKitty had the following e-mail exchange. I am noted by JD, her by PK. Enjoy...
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PK: How are you spending your game day? Gettin your hair did?
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JD: I'm so pumped for the game tonight. I'm wearing my Manny T-shirt at work
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PK: My mom sent me this picture of the little Mannys.
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JD: We might have a fight on our hands. I'll take the one random dude who looks a little 'special', you make nice with the sorority girls. Be careful of the one in the pink skirt, I bet she fights dirty.
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PK: It's okay, he escaped!
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JD: Just another day for Manny.
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PK:
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JD: Well said Manny... Well said...
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PK: How long can we keep this going?
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JD: Probably for a while. I'm pretty jealous of David Ortiz right here.
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PK: Check out this hussy.
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JD: House Party. No shoes on. About to start dancing. Michael Vick Jersey. There's no way this night ended well.
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PK: He's coming after you for that one, John.
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JD: It's ok, I convinced him to do some Yoga to calm down.
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PK: He has invited us over for a bbq.
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JD: And he's making sure he looks his best for us.
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PK: "I left Lugo on the Playland slide."
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JD: "Me and Doug like to come out here and play hide and go seek. Here I come!"
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PK: Sometimes Mirabelli just hides in Manny's facial hair
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JD: Every now and again, he'll carry Mirabelli in his skull cap. That's why it's so lumpy.
