John Comments on Commerce
Editor's Note: John works in advertising. But in Media. He hates or loves ads regardless of whether they are clients of his company or not. He is the most ethical man on the planet, next to Superman.
3/25/2007 The Ad Hat Trick
If you're like me then you have a beard and red hair. Ha-ha. Oh, comedy dynamite. Enough clowning around.
What this is actually about is actors who go through a phase where they are in a bunch of ads. It's like they got a bunch of jobs all at once or you remember them from before. Whenever this happens I become ecstatic. Tip to advertisers who are trying to appeal my demographic (handsome gentlemen), cast someone who is going to be in other commercials. It makes me pay attention much more.
Por ejemplo, right now there is a young man in ads for KFC, Twix, and Bud Light. This is impressive first of all in that these three combined make heaven for (insert name of a fat drunk person you know here).
Secondly these commercials all employ horrible comedy for one reason or another. Let's review:
KFC Buffalo Snacker: One man is on a platform waiting for a train. He yells across to the other platform to prevent someone from paying a dollar for an inferior snack. Good lookin out, guy. The bad joke comes at the end when a woman overhearing the conversation thinks the train she is waiting for may be going to buffalo. Lady, you are a f#%&ing moron. Of course your commuter train is not going to Buffalo. Unless that is where you live. In that case, touche, KFC Buffalo Snacker, touche.
Twix: This one falls into the "Need a moment? Chew it over with a Twix" campaign that has been around for a year or two. Thankfully this is the first one that makes sense. Usually something happens like a cop pulls over a car and finds a body in the trunk. They ask the guy what's with the body then all the person does is jam a Twix in their mouth and somehow this solves the problem. I hated these ads. They made no sense. Scarfing a Twix doesn't solve your problem. Unless your problem is that you don't have diabetes.
Anyway, in this particular ad, our hero, blonde guy, is meeting his girlfriend's mom. She is doing laundry because that is all middle aged women are good for (get mad at Twix, they were the ones who implied it) and leaves to go get coffee with the daughter. While the mom teaches the daughter an important lesson about serving men, blonde guy touches the hot iron. Why? Beats the hell out of me. He then drops his Twix into the laundry basket. Why is he eating a Twix as he goes in to meet his girlfriends mom? Again, not a clue. He goes into the laundry basket and comes up with a Twix. He also decides this would be a great time to take the mom's underwear out of the basket and observe them. Why would he do that knowing they will be returning momentarily? Look, I just work here. The mom correctly asks what our hero is doing. At this point he shoves a Twix in his mouth. While buying time his GF excitedly covers for him saying he wants to help with the laundry. I hope to God they had a conversation about this later. I hope when (not if) I get busted going through a girl I'm dating's mother's undergarments it leads to a very important discussion about my clearly deep psychological issues.
This is a minor victory for the Twix team in that rocketing a Twix into the ol' esophagus actually bought time that someone could cover for the person who found themselves in a jam. Kudos, Twix, kudos. However, I am taking away any points you earned for the remarkable lack of logic to the series of events that unfolded. I would say it is the Mulholland Drive of commercials, but Mulholland Drive at least had nudity.
Bud Light: List of things that are funny in alphabetical order - Crotch Shots, Foreigners Who Talk Bad. That is all. Bud Light opted for the latter in this ad employing Carlos Mencia as a guy teaching foreign guys how to ask for Bud Light. See above note RE: Comedy Dynamite. Blonde guy earns his paycheck in this one buy playing an Eastern European. I buy it. He looks a little downtrodden. But I really lose the illusion when I see him in an ad acting like he just got deloused at Ellis Island followed up by him establishing himself as a pervert in front of his girlfriend's mom sans accent. For some reason this bothers me more than watching a feature film actor pretend to be foreigner. I guess it is just the pro-affirmative action side of me that thinks we could have found an actual Slovakian for the ad.
Our friend blonde guy isn't the only one. This happens pretty often. Some of my notable favorites from the past that qualify:
There was a blonde girl in the Volkswagen commercial probably about 4 years ago now where she is driving with her dog riding shotgun. She keeps cycling through dudes because they pull bad moves for one reason or another. She then followed that up by playing an extra in an ad of sorts. There was a guy using his laptop in a coffee shop. She looks over his shoulder because she is intrigued by the awesome things he is doing. This one stands out in my mind because I think it is the first one where I noticed this. The fact I still vividly remember the ads is kinda sad.
My favorite guy right now is Chad from the Alltel Wireless ads. Why? Because he also starred in one of the awkwardest commercials of all time. It was a Pringles ad where he is sitting on a park bench with a bag of "other" chips that come in a bag (what an a**hole!). Not to fret, a 12 year old girl comes by and sets him straight via Pringles in a tube. The competition/tension between is so weird. First off, this girl is a jerk for picking this fight and being so smug. Second, their interaction makes me uncomfortable. It's as though she is hitting on him. Weird. I was already a Pringles guy, so the ad did nothing. I am glad Chad got a major gig. I could have sworn he was in another ad around the time of the Pringles ad. Hopefully he gets one soon I can remember to complete the hat trick.
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