A Glimpse Into the Mysteries of John
Man, I Am One Pink Human Being
I just looked back over the handlebar mustache pictures. Look at the final one, where I am clean shaven. Just me or do I look like a newborn puppy. All pink and stuff. I probably should have kept the 'stache.
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The Life and Death of a Handlebar Mustache
Gestation.
Birth.
Peak of youthful strength (yes, it is holding up Froot Loops)
Twilight Years.
Death.
We'll miss you, 'The Doctor'.
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I Think I Have IDS
IDS stands for Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome. Usually there is an Acquired at the front of it, but I don't think I got it from anyone. Just always been there. Either that or I am really frail. I keep getting weird fluke injuries. Last year I tore a tendon in my foot while dancing. Yeah, dancing. I told most people I did it running. So if you were one of those people, I lied to you.
Currently I'm rockin' a hip bursitis. Came out of nowhere, won't go away. I'm taking my normal approach as with my other injuries and resting it, it won't go away, so I'll complain about it and then proceed to do nothing further to help it. It's worked pretty well so far.
I walked around with a broken wrist for a couple weeks when I was in college. Radiologist missed it. They told me I was fine, I believed them and went on my way. I'm hardcore like that.
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No More Dating Things.
Not what you think based on that title. I am no longer going to be putting the dates on these. That's what you thought I meant from the title? Oh... No... No... that's what I meant... No, nothing, I don't know why I said that. No, leave me alone. Stop touching me, please. No, stop it.
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6/11/2007 So... I .... win...?
No, we all lose with that last posting. I need to lock my computer before I go out is basically where we net out here.
BTDubs, if you're not busy tonight, we're doing a show at the Playground. Also, John was a special guest in a semifinalist entry in IO's Vidiocy contest. They'll be screening that tomorrow night (6/12) at the lakeshore theatre.
Obviously, the FGD show is your priority... Totes...
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6/7/2007 On a Bet...
I am updating this on a random whim where someone who shall remain nameless brought it up and for some reason I took it as a challenge to update tonight. Do I think the person in question is checking? Probably not. Admittedly, I just remembered this 10 minutes before going to sleep about 4 hours after the conversation happened. If the anonymous person happens to remember, kudos.
K. I need to go to sleep.
By the way, remember when I said I would not turn this into a blog? Remember? Check the "Old John Section Things" part if you don't. It was the first entry. Yep. Completely did not stick to that.
True Story.
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4/22/2007 Am I Afraid of Flying or Do I Just Understand Human Limits?
Warning before you read. This might not help if you are already afraid of flying. Or it might. I am not sure. You might want to get someone who doesn't value my opinion to give you an objective analysis. In other words, I'll ask Megan tomorrow.
Somehow in the last 3-5 years I developed an odd fear of flying. Flying never used to bother me, especially after reading Airframe by Michael Crichton. That book taught me that planes can basically fly themselves and how safe air travel is. It also taught me that it is never ok to murder someone to cover up an airline accident.
Anyway, I used to think my fear of flying was an evolution of my fear of heights. Ya see, when I was about 3 or 4 years old I was crashin' at my grandma's house and I had this dream I was skydiving and my parachute wouldn't open. Freaky enough. The problem is as I was having this dream I rolled out of bed and when I hit the ground in my dream I hit the floor of the bedroom. Yeah. I have no shame in admitting that since that moment I have felt very uncomfortable when far off the ground.
Strange thing is the exception was always when I was on a plane. I've averaged a plane ride 4-5 times a year for the last decade or so and it never really bothered me. Then I started getting freaked out by flying. Now I am to the point that I convinced myself that I will die in a plane crash. Which is absolutely ridiculous (I'm gonna die of a heart attack within 3 years) and I know it's ridiculous (or maybe a brain tumor) but for some reason my brain won't just go about this logically (someone killing me in a weird misunderstanding over a love triangle I am not a part of is likely too).
I think my brain just realized that people don't belong 30,000 feet from the surface of the earth. Humans have no business being that high. We're so vulnerable there. I don't think it's fear so much as instinct. Therefore, by the transitive property, if you are not afraid of flying then your instincts are dead and a lion will eat you soon.
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3/20/2007 I'm Already a Liar
It officially took 11 days.
If you remember the last time I wrote here I noted that the goal was to avoid turning this into a blog. There is a difference between social commentary and just posting a diary. I was aiming for the former of the two options.
For example, I was going to write about is the shifting of John McCain's political viewpoints. Another topic which is now pretty far into the rearview mirror was Tim Hardaway's comments regarding homosexuals. I am still surprised that someone can basically come out and say they hate a certain group of people and all they have to deal with is an annoying week. Imagine if Ichiro, through a translator, said he hated hispanics. It would bananas. Kinda funny, but bananas. Certainly not tolerated. This doesn't even touch on the irony of a black man who grew up in poverty (as I think I read somewhere) essentially discriminating against an entire group of people. You would think that someone in that position would be able to relate to being hated for no good reason, but here we are. Says a lot about things.
But no, my goal today is to inform you about Saturday. The Fantasy Baseball Draft. I will be traveling to Long Island, NY to the home of one of my friends. We will then hold our live draft. Before you judge me please remember that these are all my friends and this is the one time a year we are guaranteed to see each other every year since we live all over the pre-Mississippi River country.
You right now: Jesus, John, you've been rambling for 3 paragraphs and I still have no idea what the hell you are saying.
Me: Ok, here it is.
I am going to try to provide updates to this site throughout the day of the draft. It will be fun.
Here's the catch. If you read Bill Simmons or have read a Tucker Max "running diary" type thing, here is the difference. I am using the draft as a springboard for thoughts. For example, the importance of stats in baseball, why drinking all day is fun until hour 6, and the like. It will not just be telling stories about people you don't know/don't care about.
Don't worry, from now on I will write more often and less in each post.
Love you, angel kittens.
3/9/2007 Welcome to the John Section.
This is my section to kinda do whatevs. I desperately don't want this to turn into a blog where I lean heavily on the first person and talk about junk in my life. Example, hopefully you will never read anything on this page along the lines of:
"Work sucked hard today. My boss was all up in my grill because there was a budgeting error in my excel sheet. OMG, step off, boss, I don't need this. Excel screwed up, yell at it."
-Or-
"I hate girls. I mean, seriously, if one more girl acts like she is totally into me and it fizzles out I am selling all my stuff and moving to Guam. I don't need this. I miss you, Jeanie."
I don't know anyone named Jeanie, so don't look into that one. Really just based that one on myspaceish blogs authored by those mired in the drama of pre-college. I think I can adhere to the above rules so long as I never use this as my forum for drunken typing. Which I think I should be ok with. Hopefully Future John agrees.
